Stoner
Quite possibly one of the coolest, no, THE coolest people attending the Duke Marine Lab in 2009 and 2010. In 2009, his second year, he had shoulder length hair, and when he woke up in the morning, looked under the influence. Within the third day, Stuart had established the name, and he has been known by this name ever since (although strongly discouraged by all the staff except Jimmy and Geoff). He has been known to yell the phrase "It smells like victory!" whenever something good happens. He discovered this on the theme song for the youtube show, Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This? His most often used insult is "You're dumb" which coincidentally, also came from the same song. In 2009, he entertained the co-ed dorm 5 at DUML with his solo rendition of the Broadway musical Honk, impersonating all of the characters at once. Stoner is a skilled frisbee player, and also enjoys fantasizing about flying, at which point Max will say "That would be convenient." Before becoming Stoner, he attended his first year at Davidson, where he didn't do much socially and was moderately awkward. But then he became cool. Although he is not annoying about, nor does he draw that much attention to it in person like many other stupid fans, Stoner happens to be the biggest fan of Harry Potter in the entire universe. Stoner is a DJ on TiP-Radio, broadcasting under the name of DJ Hatteras.
ROADHOUSE
One day at DUML in 2010, after fantasizing about flying, it was time to go to bed. However, Stoner was far too lazy to get up from sitting in the circle, so he had two of his dorm pals grab his arms and drag him across the quad, which felt similar to flying. The next day, he made four people grab his arms and legs and "fly" him across the quad, which involved a collision with some second years who were being stupid and would not get out of the way.
Because his roommate from the first year played the song everyday, Stoner knows the Portal credits song by heart. He would often sing it at random times, and be joined by the rest of Geoff's RC group. However, that year, (DUML 2010) was not viewed as a highly positive year by Stoner, seeing as it was only two weeks long, the staff was incredibly restrictive on even the most minor of aspects, such as ones presence in the laundry room (which was perfectly in bounds. I mean where are you gonna go? It's an island <----------INSIDE JOKE INTENDED FOR MAX DUNCAN). This staunching of creative juices often left Stoner and his comrades with a sense of emptiness that was incredibly depressing compared to the year before, and that is pretty much how DUML ended, which sucked. But other than that a fantastic place.
Stoner's contractor wishes his true name to be kept confidential due to public relations and what not, so as a request to the TIPwiki community, it is asked that his identity not be written upon this document.
Stoner was recently seen at Duke West Term I, where he wrote his first novel entitled The Stupidest Person in the universe. It was met with generally positive reviews, excluding one of the higher ranked staff members, who, instead of laughing, pointed out everything wrong with the rough draft.
