Information Security: From Turing to Snowden

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Nick Rodriguez: TA
Pajama Party
Rainbow Tables

TiP East II 2015

This class was a combination of learning how to program in C and learning how to hack using the knowledge of that programming language. Advertised as a history class about keeping secrets and how it changed from the age of Alan Turing in WWII to the modern times with Edward Snowden, this class was actually spent learning how to code, look smart with Linux, and hack.

Note: Meals will be extended half an hour due to the absence of Nick.

Instructor and TA

Instructor: Scott Weeks

Teaching Assistant/Supreme Dictator: Nick aFancy Rodriguez

Class Members

  • Secretary - Lizard Man
  • Court Jester - Clay
  • Historian - Haley
  • Batman - Thomas (Even Scott only remembers me as Batman)
  • Silent Watcher - Asa
  • Nick's Bits - Asa, Caitlin, Dean, Ethan, Niles
  • Harmonica Soloist - Yen
  • Doesn't Pay Attention - Isabel
  • Nick - Emily and Lydia

Quotes

Scott

  • "I'm gonna call my function 'function'. Super creative: I know."
  • "It's World War I, and you're playing the entire allied side. Every time you click, every Allied soldier fires."
  • "Why would somebody not want a random stranger to compromise their system? Imagine that."
  • "Sorry, was your hand up?"
  • "You have sensitive data on your computer, and now I have it because I'm bad. At least in this example."
  • **angrily erases board**
  • "I'm gonna login as 'Scott', cause that's my name."
  • "I'm gonna use '12345' as my password, because I'm stupid. At least in this example."
  • "You aren't allowed to use that command! No!"
  • "This class isn't about the destination; it's about the journey."
  • "This isn't a grammar class. You can spell things however you want." [editor note: spelling has nothing to do with grammar]
  • "And then you would remove all alpha-numeric characters... Wait no. That would make a TERRIBLE system."
  • "It's about the journey. THE JOURNEY."
  • "Python is weak."
  • "I haven't even started reading it, and I've already gotten a response! I'm so funny!"
  • "GRAHAM! Is that your rapper name or something?"
  • "Hello humans. My average walking speed is 4.541 miles per hour."
  • "You were partially right. You don't win nothing. Sorry there were no prizes."
  • "TiP is a great place." [editor's note: he said this with kind sarcasm]
  • "So the answer is: 'It's complicated.'"
  • "Has anyone seen the new Pixar film? 'Inside Out?'"
  • "That's right, Nick, you are perfect."
  • "Mmm, but you don't want to do that in the real world, and in a computer, you can't do that."
  • "Don't make poor life decisions. That's some solid advice. Later on in life, you'll be like, 'It's all thanks to Scott. He told me not to make poor life decisions once at summer camp. I owe it all to him.'"
  • "And that's why Vista broke everything."
  • "I can't talk today. That's what matters."
  • "We're shooting birds apparently."
  • "We don't do this very often, but we can, and we will."
  • "Don't laugh at me. It hurts my feelings."
  • "What we need to know about registers, well, you don't even need to know, It's way over there, that's what you need to know about registers."
  • "You got the high five eventually, even though you hit my wrist a bunch of times."
  • "You guys are the worst."
  • "That sounds like something people would say in the middle ages."
  • "I dunno. The Huns are attacking tomorrow."
  • "Why would somebody not want a random stranger to compromise their system? Imagine that!"
  • "Everybody will give you a cookie. Google gives you cookies. Cookies are one of those those omnipresent things."
  • "Part 3 of the plan is, 'Get the moneys.' Then, under that, it just says, 'RUBBER HOSE.'"
  • "Never give a command you know won't be obeyed."
  • "It's not a history class. It doesn't matter."
  • "Oh, my system is compromised. Time to log into my bank."
  • "There is no seven."
  • "I will (hunt||hug||cut) you, Clay."
  • "I'm sorry. Niles wrote his zero as a D, and I can't give a good grade to somebody like that."
  • "The results of that competition are not a competition."
  • "Deep thoughts."
  • "You are only seventeen once in your life."
  • "Appstinence is where you don't get apps."
  • "Abstinence is where you don't get abs."
  • "After the ethernet port, you have an ethernet port."
  • "She's gotta let the mothership know she needs a reboot."
  • "Nick, don't make me cut you."
  • "Oh God, you people are back already."
  • "5 times 1 equals 5. I just blew your mind."
  • "I do what I want."
  • "Don't make fun of my art. This isn't art class."
  • "Yen has retreated to her larval state."
  • "Hi Dean. You seem to be smiling a lot for someone enjoying my lecture."
  • "Vigilantism is illleeeeeeeegall, and he would suuuuuuuueee you for a lot of moneyyy."
  • "God. It's like I'm allowed to get in here!"
  • "What if he agrees to let you shoot him and steal his hand? We'll deal with that when it happens."
  • "I do not consent to you killing me and stealing any of my parts."
  • "You'd think magic would be more secure."
  • "Santa clause has just been delaying paying for the more expensive magic 2.0 because it wants to install the ask toolbar."
  • "If I break my arm, I can't log onto my computer and do my job."
  • "Why would you suspect that your own bank would betray you?"
  • "LOL! Let's all have a big war!"
  • "I'm never wrong."

Nick

  • "Why don't you ever quote me? I say funny things too."
  • "Help! I'm lost! I need help from all of my bits!"
  • "Never in my life have I wanted to kill myself so much."
  • "If you want to put grass in your backpack, please feel free."
  • "I get a 2/2 on TiPsync because I'm me."
  • "Hmm? Oh, I wasn't listening."
  • "Dress code doesn't apply to me."
  • "Nothing makes me uncomfortable."
  • "Okay... That noise makes me uncomfortable."
  • "Well, it's too late."
  • "**sighs**"
  • "Holy crap, what the heck is happening."
  • "If Taylor Swift is talking, you aren't talking."
  • "I love Nettie"
  • "I didn't think it was a nine! I thought it was a one with a weird circle thing next to it
  • "Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me, Vyacheslav."
  • "Blank Space is about me"
  • "Yeahhhh boii!"
  • "Waiiit... I'm stupid."
  • "Don't wave that at me!"
  • "I don't have to justify myself to you"*
  • "Charlotte, when I invited you to come, I didn't mean bring 17 other people!"'
  • "For future reference, in college, when somebody invites you to something, it doesn't mean invite 17 friends!"
  • "This is our last evening together, as fam! This is the last supper!"

Niles

  • "You just made it a competition! You said that we should have a timed competition."

Yen

  • "Just when you think you've got everything right, you forgot a zero and everything's screwed"

Victoria

  • "He has no idea what he's contributing to society."
  • "We can wing the Cold War"

General Sayings