Iliseanor

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The Very Best Roommates To Ever Live

Ilise Hyams and El Lockhart, residents of the crackhouse, HH302, hereby create this tipwiki page as a testament to their friendship and roommateship of Duke West Term One 2019.

  • Seth (the Omegle furry)
  • Aidan (Ilise's short-lived soulmate who forgot her after two days. It's still true love though)
  • Theo (El's soulmate, not short-lived, they still are talking as of June 29, 2019)
  • 'All Smiles For My Loves' (El's happy playlist)
  • WE'RE THE MERCHANT MARINE (specifically the dance party of June 11, 2019, El's 16th birthday)
  • Ilise's quotes of procrastination, including but not limited to "Yes, I'll be ready in 2 minutes," "I just need to brush my hair/wash my face," and "I'll just meet you there" (to which El's response was always 'No, you fucker, I'll wait for you')
  • The irony that HH302 is quite possibly the smallest room in all of Few, but always had people in it (and we mean always. Like - our friends hung out in here when we weren't here.)
  • The ominous happy birthday balloons and the wooden spoon, tide pod, and ring pop wrapper taped up on the wall (They're MEMENTOS, OKAY?)
  • The fateful night of Kegan and Nate, a foursome which was incredibly fun but unfairly short-lived
  • Sleeping in El's bed every night (except the nights when El slept in Ilise's bed because Ilise and Sadie can't fucking sleep on their sides)
  • Wanting to fuck Mattie SO bad
  • [1] - THIS VIDEO.
  • Obsessing over how cool and chill Malia, El and Ilise's RC, was
  • Always being late for rag meetings and meetings at the Nexus bench for dinner
  • THE PIKING GAME
  • The immediate demand of "We want to see your feet!" to every innocent Omegler we met
  • Joint shower dance parties (and when El took the hazard sign up from under the sink. And then Ilise choked her in the shower curtain. What a time.)
  • Five Hour Energy (specifically the fact that it makes Ilise fall asleep instantly and it makes El unable to stop twitching for the next four hours
  • THE BOOTY OUT SHORTS
  • The ring pop proposal, and then the real ring proposal
  • The Gushers wrapper taped up against the peephole on the door. Iconic.
  • Our window that never fucking closed, ever.
  • Growling
  • "y'AlL OnlY hAvE ONe cLoSet?" (SHUT UP)
  • El's red hair ribbon!
  • Ramen noodle photoshoot night
  • Iced coffee
  • That one time that Ilise stole Kegan's sweatshirt and then brought it back and tried to give it to El and thought that that was a totally normal thing to do. Yeah.
  • The HONK LAUGH
  • Ilise fell asleep on El's shoulder probably 17 times.
  • ILISE'S SLEEPTALKING ABOUT BONES AND EL DRIVING HER PLACES
  • Why was El's bed so much more comfortable than Ilise's? The world may never know
  • Cheesecake by Billy Machia Fava
  • Updates on bowel movements & that one poop that Ilise found in the toilet
  • Ilise hyping El up on every single outfit she ever wore ever
  • Facetime advice sessions with El's mom
  • Amazon panties
  • 40-packs of scrunchies (and the fact that literally everyone Ilise ever talked to had one)
  • EL'S OBSESSION WITH CHUCK E. CHEESE LORE AND THE FACT THAT ILISE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT. ALSO THAT ONE VIDEO OF "I'M NOT GAY" BY BILLY BOB BROKLI WHERE EL STEPS OUT OF THE WINDOW
  • The TikToks made first week. Ingenious.
  • Using any and every charger, ever
  • Spiderman with a pencil up his ass. Still can't really believe that that happened.


May the Crackhouse/Traphouse rest in peace and never be as epic as it was these past three weeks.