Gregor Haas

From the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Intro

Year Year at TIP Campus Term Course Dorm RC
2011 1st Davidson II Mathematical Problem Solving Sentelle John
2012 2nd Duke East I Algebra II Brown Jordan R
2013 3rd Duke East II The Mathematics of Distortion Brown Carter
2014 4th Duke East II Game Theory: Economics Bassett Shawn







Gregor Haas was an accomplished selective breeder. He force-bred everything from mice to rabbits, creating new species through incest and line breeding. At the beginning it started out as a hobby. It was a way to blow off steam and escape from the bullies who didn't understand him. But over time it became an obsession. He started having to catch larger and larger animals to get the same feeling. His breeding methods became more and more violent. As fate would have it, he was still picked on by Tipsters, and generally disliked. Though most considered him weird and just left him alone, several practical jokes were made at his expense (he had a fear of heights) and by the time term 1 ended, he was crushed... and angry. But you see, Gregor had smuggled a few animals into East and displayed his invented species at the talent show... and that's where it went wrong. This inbred amish squirrel crawled to the edge of the stage.... THEN JUMPED and attacked the crowd, shaking people and pleading, "KILLLLL MEEEE!" and spewing putrid vomit into the seats; everyone made a mad dash for the door, screaming, but Gregor had locked the door beforehand. They had made him suffer, and now he would sit back and watch them run around like sad, little, animals. He was never seen since.


3rd Year

Gregor attended Duke East during Term 2 in 2013. He took Mobius Strips, Klein Bottles, and Fractals: The Mathematics of Distortion with Alex Obiol, Tyler Tinari, Ryan Becker, Gentry Clark, Carter Forinash, Gregor Haas, Sarah Hawks, Claire Hefner, AJ Jayant, Matthew Mason, Jameson Orvis, Sean Read, John Robertson, Jay Seckman, Clay Sullivan, Ana Thomas-LaRocque, Austin Weaver, and Henry Woodrow. He was and is a big part of the TiP community. He was in "French Fries and Neopets Party YES" for TiPSync, and they took home 1st place with their magnificent performance of "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada and an epic set of dance battles. Also, he participated in the Talent Show playing piano for "4 Chord Song" and Erica Mast's TiP version of "Someone Like You" by Adele. At the end of term, he was awarded the title of Cuil Theorist.

4th Year

In his fourth year, Dad learned game theory. He inspired all of us to be joyful, even under the servitude of Liam's three-year contract. When time came for the Cold War, Gregor was shrewd and spent most of his time "plotting" with Pooja and Alex Obiol. He did, however, meet the challenge of playing as India against a certifiably insane Pakistan. He nailed the talent show as Cuil Theorist and in other acts.


Preceded by:
John Robertson
Cuil Theorist Succeeded by:
Spencer

As an RC

MASTER OOGWAYYYYYY