Geoff Toy

From the unofficial Duke TIP Wiki

This page is not written in the serious tone expected of an encyclopedia article.

Please see the relevant discussion on the policy page.

Geoff Toy
RC

Name	{{{name}}}
Nickname	{{{nickname}}}
Campus(es)	East
Attended	2007
Relationship(s)	Captain and RC
Dorm	Alspaugh

Template:TIPster

Geoff (pronounced Gee-off, NOT Jeff), a.k.a. Lord Toy, was born with the fiery, red hair that you see today, that matches his spirit and God-like aura. He ran with the stallions as a boy, growing stronger, hungering for more. He grew into a man, as King Leonidas and his wife took him in and taught him to be a destructive warrior. As Geoff grew, he began to learn the ways of the Spartans, killing anything and everything in their way. Geoff alone killed Xerxes and, eventually, his own father, so he now leads the Spartans into battle against the enemy. Geoff knew his reign would soon end- however, for he turned the government into a dictatorship and did bad stuff. He moved so he could go to college at Kenyon University and be awesome. He became a RC, shortly after, for the Duke TiP program at the East Campus of Duke University. There, he would finally meet his match. He met a few young men and a woman, named Seth Pottle, Ethan Mays, Ben Olasov, Squirrel Witt, Arielle Burstein, and the rest of Geoff's awesome R.A.G. They were a destructive bunch, some criminals who always thought of ways to steal the slushie machine, a bucket-wearing beast, a couple of Asians, and the rest of them. Geoff found ways to put up with the nonsense, but it just wasn't enough. Usually, he blamed Seth for all of the wrongdoings. Seth would retaliate by protesting outside of Geoff's door. It was at this time that Seth, along with the rest of the group, decided that Geoff was, in fact, a god sent to them to show them the path of righteousness. He did succeed in showing them that. Geoff was just recently immortalized on the Brown Bench by a member of Allison's RAG (Callista) who wrote "GEOFF IS PWNAWESOME" on the right-hand side of the bench.

1 Geoffists
2 Early Bedtime
3 Quadfest and Related Antics
4 Catch Phrases and Behaviors
5 Teh Pizza Dahnce
6 Geoff's Pirates Roster Term 1

[edit] Geoffists

Geoffists are mainly composed of, but not limited to Geoff's rag. Geoff's rag was probably one of the most fanatic in their absolute worship of Geoff. By their first night with Geoff, Geoffists had already had a clear idea of what kind of respect their RC deserved, giving Geoff a standing ovation when he was called up during the first night's orientation with Sam Prevatt, OSC at the time. Geoffists have even created a closed facebook group called 'Geoffism' on facebook in which the Geoff has even joined. In this group, the Geoffists are conspiring to perform a variety of mischievous acts to Geoff, including barging in on his prospective 2008 RAG and constructing shrines in his honor. Geoff told towards the end of the term of how other RC's would ask him why his RAG loved him so much. To this day, he is still mystified and without the answer to that question, for

Why do you guys like me so much? All i do is send you guys to bed early.

—Geoff

At one point, Seth became Honorary Geoff for a maximum duration of 30 minutes, due to Squirrel Witt's ankle injury. During this time, Arielle became Honorary Seth. Seth performed his duties as Honorary Geoff superbly by properly punishing Bert for not being on time by sending him to bed early and reprimanding Honorary Seth (Arielle) for typical Seth-like behaviors. Geoffists are known to have ties with and be aligned with the superspecialsecret organization known as UGM.

[edit] Early Bedtime

Alongside Level 3 Fireball, one of Geoff's most famous attacks to fend off TiPsters was his ability to send them to bed early. Geoff also has the ability to stack early bedtimes on each other, resulting in multiple 30 minute early bedtimes for a few days for some people. Reasons for being sent to bed early included:

Geoff retains his abilities even through the internet.

the "nyyyyah" noise
stealing the slushie machine
the tongue flick
the p-e-n-i-s game
the p-e-n-i-f game
withholding the Mitch's Birthday tradition
partyboying Seth
Chanting "G-E-O-F-F, GEOFF. GEOFF." and "F-F-O-E-G. FOE-EGG. FOE-EGG."
any obnoxious behaviors that Geoff coined.. obnoxious

Example of Geoff's Early Bedtime Abilities

Geoff: Good. Any questions or concerns?

Seth: (raises hand)

Geoff: Yes, Seth?

Seth: You're my favorite RC, Geoff.

Geoff: Seth, that's not a question or concern. Early bedtime.

Seth: ...GEOFF!?

—Seth and Geoff

Possibly One of the Best Occurrences of a Broken Rule

(Geoff and his RAG are playing Roses&Thorns the night before the second dance, and it is Seth's turn)

Seth: (laughing) oh, i've got this all set up for me.. oh god (laughs even more)

Seth: My rose for today is... NYYYYYYYYAH

(Everyone bursts out laughing)

Seth: And my thorn is that i have to go to BED EARLY

—Seth and Geoff

However, it should be noted that Geoff did not always enforce his early bed punishments.

[edit] Quadfest and Related Antics

Though most of Geoff's RAG was quite unmotivated to outperform others at Quadfest, Geoff's RAG managed to pull off a fairly high level prize thanks to the Rubik's cube (See Jewbic Cube) skills of one Geoffist, Kelvin Wey. As his RAG's prize, Kelvin chose to 'Make a rule for your RC for one day'. After much debating, it was decided that the following Monday (second monday of TiP), Geoff would have to say "I love you" at the beginning and end of every conversation he had with a female RC he saw, most importantly Melissa. However, Geoff managed to shimmy his way out of this rule by citing that the rule only dictated that he had to say "I love you" to every female RC he had a conversation with instead of every female RC he saw (insinuating that Geoff doesnt have many conversations with female RC's in the first place?). Since there were no Geoffists to enforce the rule, the whole matter was dropped. It should also be mentioned that the second-best idea for the rule was for Geoff to wear Mitch's Vermonster bucket on his head for the day.

[edit] Catch Phrases and Behaviors

Happiness
I (verb) you guys soooo much, I'm not even joking this time.
My thorn is the sheer amount of homoeroticism in here.
Teh pizza dance- Roll the dice, put it in the oven!
Paul Wall (PAA WAAH)
(Name Here), I love you.
Partyboy
I thought you were in Writing with Power, not Writing with Bullsh t.
Ethan's serenade on guitar
I love Basset! Basset rocks!
What can Brown do for you!
Neutsacch
DUNK
High caliber weapons box
I have so much haPENIS

[edit] Teh Pizza Dahnce

During the second dance, Ethan and Seth found it as their duty to help Kelvin with his "endeavors" and decided to teach him (or make up) the renowned Pizza Dahnce. As the taught (made it up), it evolved to be an enormous group dance that many eager young boys joined in on. Teh Pizza Dahnce is a failproof method to both show one's masculinity and impress the ladies at the same time, and is recommended for men of all ages and... "sizes".

How to perform Teh Pizza Dahnce:

Buy foodstuffs at grocery store - Have one hand forward like your holding a grocery cart, and have the other hand grabbing some cans of food. Interchange hands so that one hand is pushing the cart while the other is grabbing food and putting it in cart
Drive home - Left arm on "steering wheel", right hand on "shifter". Make carlike movements.
Roll the dice - Shake your right hand around as if shaking 2 dice in your hand, then lean towards the ground and dramatically toss the dice onto the ground
Toss the pizza - With both hands palms up, bring them down and up while leaning slightly backwards
Sprinkle toppings on the pizza - Holding the "pizza" in the left hand, "sprinkle" toppings over the top of the "pizza" using the right hand.
Put it in the oven - With both hands fist up, squat down and "open" the oven by the handles. Stand up, take the "pizza" in both hands as before, squat down, put it in the "oven", and stand back up. (it's similar to dropping it as seen in Pop-Lock-And Drop it)
Look at the watch - Look at the "watch" on the left hand, tap your feet, tap the watch with your right hand
Roll the dice - ROLL THE DICE AS BEFORE
Take pizza out of oven - Take the "pizza" out of the oven, reversing the motions of putting the pizza in the oven as before
Slice it up - Using a "circular pizza slicer", hold the "pizza" in the left hand and "slice" it into multiple pieces using the right.
Hand it out - Distribute.
Roll the dice (Money!) - This last roll is special. You'll start out by rolling it as before, except after you've rolled it into the ground, move both hands around close to the ground as if grabbing and raking in the money. Afterwards, throw the pile of money into the air and dramatically pick the money out of the air with a sort of trickling movement as if feeling the bills and then grabbing them.

Tips, tricks and notes:

Most actions are in pairs and should be performed in sync to the beat. If the beat runs out, you're screwed. The pizza dance should be performed in a circular group with at least one person enthusiastically calling out all of the movements, with everyone loudly joining in when they roll the dice together. Trust me, when everyone rolls the dice into the center of the circle, it's very epic. Dice Rolls are for the most part random, and can be tossed in between every different movement if desired.