Banerd

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Banerd is a relic at Duke East. It is a banana with a face drawn on it, and is placed on the magnolia tree outside of the cafeteria.

History

On a fateful day in 2017, a group of highly intelligent individuals including Gabe Taylor and Lee Robinson ate together. Gabe had a fateful banana and Lee decided to inscribe upon it a face in pen. Suddenly, Gabe was hit with the epiphany that this was the true god. Faithfully for the rest of the year, he placed it in the tree outside the cafeteria and replaced it with another whenever it fell or was taken down. After that year, Gabe passed it down to Lee, who continued the tradition faithfully until the end of that year, when she passed it down to both Andrew Duke and Rohan Kashyap for reasons.


Duties & Requirements

The Big Banana Boi of Banerd (relic holder) must replace the banana when it falls down and draw a face on it. This person must also host religious services every week for Banerd.

The title of Big Banana Boi is passed down, along with the sacred fork of Banerd, to any third year that is the best cult leader. This person should be outgoing and likeable by almost everyone. They should also be able to make sure that Banerd stays a joke.

Banerd should always be treated as a joke, and should NEVER be taken seriously.

Banerd Lore

Banerd is the literal actual correct god. He is the basis of all other religions, meaning all religions are correct because all religions are just Banerd. Banerd created the universe in all its glory, and only the Big Banana Boi may understand his will. The Big Banana Boi also chooses a Banana Boi that assists them during religious services. However, the Big Banana Boi is the actual relic holder.

Religious services for Banerd are held on Tuesdays during afternoon free time at 4:15. It begins with the chant of Banerd: 'All hail Banerd. Bread is good.' afterwards, curious disciples and others are able to pose questions to Banerd to understand the universe. After that, a confession period takes place, and Tipsters are able to learn how to atone for their sins. The most heinous sins are drinking water, crocs and socks, teachers rapping, touching or messing with Banerd, revealing your Hogwarts house, and tax evasion. There is also a secret cardinal sin, which only the Big Banana Boi knows. The service then ends with the holy hymn of Banerd, the Rick Roll.

The holder of the Pride Flag is the only person who can engage in coitus with Banerd.

Big Banana Bois of Banerd

Year Big Banana Boi Banana Boi
2017 Gabe Taylor N/A
2018 Lee Robinson N/A
2019 Andrew Duke & Rohan Kashyap (Became official this year) N/A
2020 Jack Heidrick Carolyn